


Bones Don't Lie

by Umbreeunix



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, I dont have anything set in stone yet, Lots of plot, Other, Porn With Plot, Reader Is Not Frisk, Self-Insert, Slice of Life, These tags will probably change as the story goes on, Till then this is my first attempt at taking smut slow, androgynous reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:29:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5289029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbreeunix/pseuds/Umbreeunix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>How long have you been here, trudging through waist high snow, clutching your body to preserve the warmth you had left. Minutes ago you were kindly invited to stay in a kind monster’s home, sleeping in a soft, cozy bed with your own room with a motherly goat woman looking after you, taking care of you, saying things you sorely wished your real parents would’ve said when you were younger. It was definitely a step up from the flower bed you’d fallen onto. But you had to move past that now, and you tried your darnedest to keep those thoughts at bay, to not think of the kind monster you’d left behind.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. The Blizzard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How long have you been here, trudging through waist high snow, clutching your body to preserve the warmth you had left. Minutes ago you were kindly invited to stay in a kind monster’s home, sleeping in a soft, cozy bed with your own room with a motherly goat woman looking after you, taking care of you, saying things you sorely wished your real parents would’ve said when you were younger. It was definitely a step up from the flower bed you’d fallen onto. But you had to move past that now, and you tried your darnedest to keep those thoughts at bay, to not think of the kind monster you’d left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want you all to know that this fanfiction wouldn't exist if it weren't for [Jokebone](http://jokebone.tumblr.com/) (aka Skele) and their AMAZING iterations of the bone brothers. I absolutely fell head over heels for the design, and with their permission I was allowed to use them in this fanfiction. If you want to take a look I'll leave a link for both below, but you should also check out their blog and all their Undertale art, because it's gorgeous.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Sans](http://jokebone.tumblr.com/post/133067710916/lystheni-a-possible-naked-sans-i-like-to-think)  
> [Papyrus](http://jokebone.tumblr.com/post/133067794901/lystheni-naked-papyrus-sans)

How long have you been here, trudging through waist high snow, clutching your body to preserve the warmth you had left. Minutes ago you were kindly invited to stay in a kind monster’s home, sleeping in a soft, cozy bed with your own room with a motherly goat woman looking after you, taking care of you, saying things you sorely wished your real parents would’ve said when you were younger. It was definitely a step up from the flower bed you’d fallen onto. But you had to move past that now, and you tried your darnedest to keep those thoughts at bay, to not think of the kind monster you’d left behind. Even now your eyes stung with tears, much like your cheeks as they are whipped by the harsh winter winds, soon red as your skin went numb. There must be a blizzard blowing by for the weather to be this bad, though how that’s even possible in an underground cavern is beyond you.

Gradually, the weight in your legs got heavier, joints stiffening till it felt like you were dragging slabs of lead through at least three feet of snow. The cold was sapping your strength and the path ahead seemed like an endless and impossible feat, with how ruthless this storm was, buffeting you till you tripped and fell in a soft poff of cold whiteness.

Strangely the idea of just staying here, laying in the snow while it covered your body, was oddly comforting. Your eyes drooped heavily, you were just so weary, maybe just a short nap wouldn’t hurt. You could just walk the rest of the way later. And after that solid mental argument your vision grew hazy, and the last thing you saw was a shadowy figure looming over you. You wonder if you saw a grin on that face before you’re descending into unconsciousness.

—————————

When you came to you were greeted with hushed voices from somewhere nearby. You couldn’t make out who they were, but what you could make out were two distinct tones among the melding amalgamate of sounds that dimly reached your hearing. One seemed incredibly loud, and even more distraught, while the other was… eerily composed and collected. You wanted to listen further, to make out the words, but lethargy began to lull you back into the void of slumber, and soon everything faded into nothingness again.

A long time passed, you assumed, and you were startled back into awareness by a loud proclamation. You thought you caught the word, “HUMAN,” but your mind was still drudging through the thick haze of sleep that you could hardly make anything out, unable to process what’s going on past your closed eyes. You couldn’t help but wonder, though, if the voice was referring to you.

You tried to crack your eyes open, lids sealed by a crusty coating of the Sandman’s sand, your fist coming up from under thick, warm blankets to rub it away….

Blankets? As far as you knew you were supposed to be asleep in a pile of snow. Your mind began to whirl with confusion and speculations, forcing you to finally blink awake. It seems you ended up on someone’s couch, an incredibly lumpy one at that, and what you thought were multiple blankets was just one thick purple comforter with a darker diamond mark pattern across it. Now that you were completely conscious you started to think. How did you get here? Where even was here? And lastly, were you in the home of one of those voices from before? You turned your head to one side, greeted by a large TV that was left on, volume low with some cooking show hosted by, what you had to reckon was, a large calculator with noodle arms balanced on a single wheel. (just saying that in your head brought up too many questions that you could even answer at the moment) You keep looking around, seeing if your surroundings would give you any clues as to whose house this was, giving yourself a good scare when a pair of skeletal legs in red boots walked passed where you were lying.

Wait… did you see that right?

Your eyes began to pan up, the color leaving your face as you saw, without a doubt, a skeleton, standing there, wearing white chest plate armor and shoulder guards, with gold trims and crimson scarf, and tiny blue shorts with black leggings beneath them. Whoever they were wore red gloves on their hands, one pressed to their chin as they seemed to ponder something, scanning the room while somehow looking past you, huffing with their own frustration.

Your stomach dropped, chills running through your body as your mind began to grasp what you were looking at. You were so sure you had already seen all there was of the monsters in the underground, oh boy were you wrong. And you couldn’t help but note how… ‘off’ this one seemed to be. How unlike a skeleton they were, with thicker bones, floating where the joints would have been, some coming at points when you were sure they shouldn’t have. Then there was the face, you could barely bring yourself to look at them, with mandibles and teeth that were twice as long as they should have been, and eye sockets that were entirely white with a black, ovular pupil at the center. And somehow his face MOVED, like it hardly cared that the skin and muscle that was supposed to be there is stripped away, brows furrowing, lips attempting to purse in thought but never covering the entirety of his teeth. You were almost glad this tall, lanky skeleton wore clothes. You weren’t sure you could handle looking at the rest of them.

Then their eyes are on you, and you’re paralyzed besides your fingers digging into the blankets, like it was the mightiest shield there ever was. The skeleton grinned, and you shuddered as you watched, and they turn towards the upper floor you just now had the chance to notice.

“LOOK! SANS! THE HUMAN, THEY HAVE AWOKEN!!!” the skeleton’s voice was loud, and incredibly nasally, and without really thinking you found yourself plugging your ears with your fingers. Other than that though you refused to budge, immobilized by the pile of bones walking, and possibly breathing, in front of you. You hear a door click open, and you take that as your cue to roll over, curl up into a ball and hide underneath the covers for safety, hoping this was just some nightmare and that you’d wake up on that snowy path, or even better the goat monster’s house.

“huh, i don’t know bro. that looks more like a big, blue snow poff to me,” there was another voice, completely different from the first. It was smoother, very mellow and composed, but light enough that it didn’t sound gravelly. You refused to move, even though curiosity begged you to peek from under your blankets, but fear was stronger. You held tight to your blanket as you screwed your eyes shut.

“WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” there’s a flap of cloth, that must’ve been the first one’s cape, then a loud gasp, “OH GOODNESS! HUMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?” Something touches your backside, you recognize it as the gloves of the louder persons… skeleperson’s hands, shaking you as if they were trying to wake you from sleep. You just whimper, going rigid as he continues to shake. At least you knew the both of them were brothers, as if that fact could actually help you right now.

“man papyrus, you must’ve spooked the kid or something, they can’t even come out to give a proper hello,” the one with the deeper voice chuckles, soft footsteps following till suddenly the touch on your backside is gone, “i think it’s best we just leave them be for now, let them settle in.”

“OH GOSH, I SUPPOSE YOU’RE RIGHT FOR ONCE, SANS,” the tall skeleton lets out what you think is a resigned sigh, then there are more footsteps, his voice getting softer, “HUMAN DON’T BE AFRAID. MY BROTHER AND I JUST WISH TO BE FRIENDS, BUT IF YOU TRULY NEED SOME SPACE THEN I, THE GREAT AND RESPECTABLE PAPYRUS, WILL KEEP AWAY SO THAT YOU MAY SETTLE IN OUR HUMBLE ABODE.”

There are more footsteps, and a fading, dramatic goodbye before a door opens and closes in rapid succession. That’s one gone, though you can still feel eyes on you, burning into the mound of a blanket that you have become.

“hey, if you’re listening, me and my bro really don’t plan on doing anything to you. i mean, normally papyrus would be all for capturing you and sending you off to ASGORE, but the guy just doesn’t have the heart for it. he’s a big ol’ softy, y’know? so whenever you feel comfortable coming out, i’ll be in the kitchen,” this time a single bony hand presses against your shoulder blade, and without even thinking you tense. The touch only lasts long enough for him to give you a gentle pat though, then he’s gone, soft footsteps fading towards the far side of the room.

Even though you knew he’d left, you waited a minute, collecting your thoughts. From what you’ve gathered you’ve somehow ended up in the house of two brothers named Papyrus and Sans, one of which is a skeleton and you had to assume the other is as well.. You give yourself a moment to chuckle at their font based names before you’re back at the task at hand. You weren’t sure you were up to the task of facing any of them, shuddering at the thought. But you knew you couldn’t just hide here either, and they didn’t seem… bad. They weren’t trying to kill you like some of the monsters prior, obviously, so maybe, despite appearances, the both of them really did just want to help you. You take a deep breath, slowly pulling the covers off your head, sitting up on the sofa before pushing off and onto your feet, hands on your hips as you stretched your stiff back and legs before doing the same with your arms.

Then you pondered, maybe you could do just a bit of snooping before having to face another disturbing skeleton, what harm could there possibly be to that, as long as you didn’t break anything. And with a resolute nod you step softly on your toes, making as little sound as possible as you head towards the small table beside the sofa, taking note of the book on top. You crack open the cover, flitting through pages. From what you could see it was just a cheesy joke book, but after skipping half way through the pages are suddenly filled with strange equations and charts, furrowing your brow as you backtrack and notice something weird.

A physics book inside the joke book. Was this some sort of dumb prank? At the risk of falling for it you keep flipping, and something you didn’t expect, but kind of did, happens. A joke book reveals itself inside the physics book, inside the joke book. You rub your temple, wondering how this was possible, flipping further just to have the thick novel alternate between jokes and quantum physics, and after the eighth swap you close it entirely, rubbing your forehead as it starts to throb.

A sudden, and very loud clank startles you from your pained confusion, head whipping towards the direction of the noise, which happened to be an archway to what you guessed is the kitchen. You swallow, slowly inching towards it, teeth gnawing at the inside of your cheek as you peek inside…

Only to find it is empty.

You stand straight and scratch the top of your head with a quirked brow, you were certain that you’d heard something in here, and as you look around nothing stands out to you as being out of place. The only peculiar thing is the sink, standing taller than the fridge beside it, and you question how anyone could actually use that thing with how high it is.

Since you couldn’t find anything suspicious you end your search with a shrug, turning on your heel so you could head back to the couch, which you had inadvertently dubbed your safe zone from weird, creepy skeletons. But you froze, because standing there, maybe a handful of inches from your face, is another skeleton, and you are suddenly overwhelmed with dread as he stares you down.

This one looked even stranger than the first, almost menacing. With a big toothed smile and large, empty sockets, the only semblance of a pupil being the small, white irises inside. Even though he held his body leisurely, hands tucked into his pockets and his posture a lazy slouch where he stood, his size alone is enough to have you shrinking away. He was just so much larger, maybe not height wise but surely in his girth, figuring his bones were even thicker than the one from before. You could hardly tell, being his body was covered with a thick, white turtleneck sweater with a blue jacket and black shorts that reached halfway down where his calves would be. Even his pink slippers couldn’t deter from the daunting atmosphere that surrounded him. And as he looks you over, you can feel the eyes drilling into your very being, like he wasn’t looking at you but through you, to your very soul. (as silly as that sounds) Your hand grips over your chest, now noticing that the favorite shirt you had worn a long while ago was replaced with a white v-neck t-shirt that hung loose on your shoulders and dangled down to your knees.

His eyes finally settle back onto your face, but you don’t feel any less uneasy, and he cocks his head a degree to the side, grin broadening as he pulls a hand from his coat pocket, holding it out to you.

“human, don’t you know how to greet a new pal?” he began, voice low and befitting of his intimidating air, “come now, be polite and shake my hand.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys liked it so far, leave a comment or a kudos, tell me what you enjoyed, what you hated, what you want to see happen in upcoming chapters. I love to receive feedback.


	2. The Skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a strong urge to make a strangled, frightened noise in the back of your throat, swallowing it down before it had the chance to escape. Now wasn’t the time to be screeching at the top of your lungs, you had to be brave. Besides, what’s the worst a skeleton could possibly do? You reach out slowly, holding your hand out toward Sans, and he takes it in thick, rigid phalanges
> 
>  _‘Pththththhhththrrrrt!’_ the sound abruptly breaks the tense silence between the two of you, and Sans is chuckling while his grin broadens. He pulls his hand away to expose a whoopee cushion taped to his palm, shoulders shaking with what you could only guess is silent laughter. Meanwhile you just question how the hell you missed that thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long, I had to do a lot of editing and rewriting, the first draft was just too slow. But now it's done and chapter 3 should pick up the pace plot wise. Again these skeletons are based off the ones [Jokebone](http://jokebone.tumblr.com/) (aka Skele) created, which I'll leave references for below.
> 
> [Sans](http://jokebone.tumblr.com/post/133067710916/lystheni-a-possible-naked-sans-i-like-to-think)   
>  [Papyrus.](http://jokebone.tumblr.com/post/133067794901/lystheni-naked-papyrus-sans)

There was a strong urge to make a strangled, frightened noise in the back of your throat, swallowing it down before it had the chance to escape. Now wasn’t the time to be screeching at the top of your lungs, you had to be brave. Besides, what’s the worst a skeleton could possibly do? You reach out slowly, holding your hand out toward Sans, and he takes it in thick, rigid phalanges

 _‘Pththththhhththrrrrt!’_ the sound abruptly breaks the tense silence between the two of you, and Sans is chuckling while his grin broadens. He pulls his hand away to expose a whoopie cushion taped to his palm, shoulders shaking with what you could only guess is silent laughter. Meanwhile you just question how the hell you missed that thing.

“the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick, i swear it never gets old,” his statement is punctuated by gruff laughter while you just stand there, completely stymied while your hand floats where it had been held, and thoroughly pranked, by Sans’. After an awkward minute you finally let it fall to your side, meanwhile Sans kept snickering as he’s peeling the tape off of himself. _Did he seriously just do that?_ you asked yourself. You honestly didn’t know how to react to that, and, fortunately, he notices your stupor and steps closer so he can rouse you out of it with a pat on your shoulder, knocking you from your reverie.

“the air was just too tense, kid. i had to do something to break the ice, though in your case that would’ve probably been snow,” he winks, tucking his hands into the pockets of his puffy, blue coat as he heads towards the couch to take a seat. He doesn’t even bother to scoot the blankets aside before his big, bony rear is settled on the lumpy cushion, sticking to the rightmost side so his elbow has a place to rest. Once comfortable he starts patting the spot next to him as white pupils dart to where he left you standing. “come on over and relax while the cushions are still warm,” you narrow your eyes, wondering if there was some pun floating obscurely in that proposal. Regardless you’re still a little hesitant, though any threat you saw in Sans before has been almost completely swept away at this point, besides his daunting demeanor and skeletal body. So you toss away those apprehensions and plop down on the opposite end of the couch, tugging the blanket out from under Sans, who is kind enough to shift his weight off of it so you could curl up in your warm cocoon with your knees tucked against your chest.

Then the two of you just… watch TV. It’s silent between the two of you, save for the speakers that announced some cooking show up next. The most you could tell was that the robot calculator thing was the host. However you could hardly pay attention when Sans’ eyes are trained on you, burning holes into your body as you feel white irises look you up and down, like he could see through you to your very SOUL. It was unnerving, and even that was understating it, and you found yourself tugging the blanket higher so that your face was overshadowed by the covers, which was now burning and probably red at this point. After a few minutes passed, which felt like hours to you, you finally feel his gaze move away from you, and you breathe out a deep, heaving sigh as you finally relax. You hadn’t even realized how tense you were till then, and after a minute you spare the chubby skeleton a glance from the corner of your eye, as a way of revenge and just out of pure curiosity.

To your surprise he ended up passed out where he sat, dozing quietly while leaning his cheekbone in his hand while he used his elbow as a crutch to hold it up. He’d even started to snore lightly, his other hand crossed over his stomach and his ‘lips’ nearly shut around his large teeth. A sliver of his incisors was still left uncovered, and you found it a little cute, just like the rest of him.

You know, now that you’re getting a good look at him without white, glowing eyes trained on you and his intimidating stature standing over you terrifyingly, he’s actually pretty adorable. There’s something about him under his initial demeanor that looked so round and soft. Though in all fairness he probably owes that to his big coat and turtleneck sweater. You even started noticing small details, like the gap between his two frontmost teeth from where they peeked under his lips, the bags under his eye sockets, light wrinkles and cracks in his skull and jaw. You start cracking a smile as you watch him, a pleasant warmth blooming in your chest, quickly extinguished by a loud slam from the door upstairs and stomping on those poor steps. You’re rigid, looking forward again with eyes glued to the television screen, as if you weren’t admiring the chubby monster napping beside you.

“SANS! IS THE HUMAN COMFORTABLE ENOUGH YET?” Papyrus calls from up the steps, though he might as well be speaking from across the globe, and you cover your ears as a painful throb comes from the harsh volume of his voice, “I’M NOT SURE HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN STAY COOPED UP IN MY BEDROOM, AS AMAZING AS IT IS.” He walks right past you and stopped in front of Sans, leaning over his brother with both hands on his hips.

Sans doesn’t even stir, and you can hear his soft snoring from where you sat, wide eyed and tucked deeply into the blanket around you. Your eyes gradually drift towards Papyrus, scoping upwards till you reached the skeleton sibling’s face. Of course he notices, and his face turns towards you as he gives you the largest smile you didn’t know a skeleton could give.

“OH GOOD! I’M GOING TO ASSUME BY HOW CALMLY YOUR SITTING HERE BESIDE BY LAZYBONES OF A BROTHER...,” his narrow sockets squint in Sans’ direction, watching the skeleton with intense scrutiny before looking back to you, “YOU MUST BE COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE NOW!” With that Papyrus is squeezing between you and his brother, plopping down on the couch and jostling his brother, meanwhile the shift in weight makes you hop off the cushions for a brief moment before you fall back onto the sofa, and very unceremoniously too. You sit there for a minute, stunned, then give your head a shake and settle back to how you were before. And of course, when you’re nicely resituated in your seat, Papyrus is already all over you, silhouette draped over your much small form and making you jolt with how close he was, and, yeah, he notices that too. With a frown the skeletons tilts back an inch, and you feel a pang of guilt immediately. It’s not like you could’ve helped it though, monsters existing was still so new and foreign to you, and seeing Papyrus’ skull zooming in so close to your face is still a little more than jarring, even knowing both him and his brother were just harmless goobers. being(it was the best word you could find to come up with the both of them)

“WHOOPSIE, SORRY ABOUT THAT. I SOMETIMES FORGET HOW INTIMIDATINGLY HANDSOME I AM,” he smiles so broadly that he even shuts his sockets, and for a moment you worried he was just shoving that upset down, but then he’s striking a dramatic poses in his seat, flexing his arms as if they had muscle, and you can’t help but smile. You even start to chuckle, at both the ridiculousness of the gesture and just how genuine Papyrus was about it, and that has him absolutely beaming with joy.

“HUMAN! DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR LAUGH IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, I’D ALMOST SAY IT IS BETTER THAN MINE…. ALMOST. NYEH HEH HEH HEH!” he cackles, and you’d join if your face wasn’t burning so furiously. Instead you tug your blanket over your nose, hiding your burning cheeks beneath it while your eyes search for Sans for some kind of help, a lifeline, _SOMETHING_. Instead you stare at the chubby skeleton as he dozes, but for just a split second you swear you saw the glow of a white pupil peeking out from his narrowed socket. You didn’t have time to double check before the sight is gone, though you are pretty sure his grin wasn’t that big before.

Papyrus grabs your attention again as his hands land on your shoulders and hold you firmly in place, and this time you face him a little more calmly than before, granted you were holding onto your blankets for dear life, “DON’T BE EMBARRASSED, HUMAN. A BEAUTIFUL LAUGH IS A TRULY MARVELOUS GIFT, AND YOURS COMES IN A VERY, **VERY** CLOSE SECOND PLACE TO MINE.” He laughs again, and you join him this time, though yours is more like a stifled, slightly nervous giggle, biting your lip to cap it in. Papyrus guffaws regardless, letting you go so he could sit facing the TV instead of you, though he manages to snake an arm around your shoulder and pull you into a half hug. You grunt as your cheek meets hard chestplate, and by that loud clack he must’ve done the same to Sans, and you’d check if Papyrus wasn’t holding you so firmly by the shoulders, not like you minded at this point.

“ALRIGHT, BY DECREE OF THE GREAT AND AMAZING PAPYRUS,” he lets go of his brother so he could motion to himself dramatically with his hand, “NOW THAT THE HUMAN ISN’T AFRAID OF SKELETONS, I ENLIST YOU AS MY BESTEST HUMAN FRIEND EVER.” Soon his arm is back around his brother’s shoulders, even giving him a light pat. Meanwhile Papyrus’ eyes were locked onto you, and it seemed at this point this skeleton was just going to sweep you away at his own pace, and what was weird is you were pretty okay with it. So you nod, which earns you a tender, but very tight squeeze around your shoulders, but you just grin and bear it, smiling right back at him before your head falls back to his side with a light thump, nestling comfortably against Papyrus.

“GOODY! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN, HAVING SLEEPOVERS, PLAYING DRESS UP, PRANKING SANS,” a disbelieving snort comes from Papyrus’ opposite side, but when you try to peek over to see the source you find that the tall skeleton has you soundly held in place, so you resign yourself back at his side. “AND YOU CAN JUST STAY WITH US… WELL, AFTER SOME THOROUGH DISCUSSION WITH UNDYNE. BUT I’M SURE AFTER I TELL HER HOW AMAZING YOU ARE, SHE WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LET YOU STAY HERE.”

You ask him what he means by that, cocking a brow while he chuckles nervously, averting his sockets from where you sat, “WELL, TECHNICALLY I’M SUPPOSED TO BE CAPTURING YOU, ASSUMABLY WITH ROPES AND BONES, BUT ALAS, I’VE CAPTURED YOUR HEART WITH PLATONIC AFFECTIONS INSTEAD… AND A BLIZZARD.”

After that Papyrus just kept talking, and at first about this Undyne person, then it shifted to him being a future member of the _royal guard_ , whatever that was, and the subjects just kept morphing as he kept going. Meanwhile you were content with simply listening, not even aware hours had passed by till your stomach rumbled with the burn of hunger, and you press your hand over it to both shush it and alleviate the throb. Papyrus jumps for joy, flying off his seat moments after your belly makes it very clear you need something to eat, and you nearly fall when his presence is suddenly gone, catching yourself on your elbow where Papyrus was just sitting. Meanwhile the skeleton is clapping his gloved hands together with excitement.

“HUMAN, I HAD NEARLY FORGOTTEN, YOU MUST BE HUNGRY AFTER YOUR TRAVELS. LET ME, LET ME, THE AMAZING SPAGHETTOUR PAPYRUS, COOK YOU THE GREATEST DISH YOU’LL EVER TASTE,” with that he darts out of the room with a happy skip to his step, disappearing past the kitchen entryway. You hear dishes and silverware clinking together as he prepares for what you can only assume is a spaghetti dinner, if you are translating ‘spaghettour’ correctly. You shift in your seat while you wait, pulling out legs out from under the blanket and away from your chest so you could stretch them across the floor, joints popping as you stretch out the stiffness in them. Meanwhile the cushions shift as a weight settles nearby, peeking to see Sans scooting closer to you with his arm coming up and around the back of your head, lounging across the backrest of the sofa. His jaw drops as a yawns loudly, like he has just woken up, but something about it seemed fake to you.

“so, i hope your **chill** with papyrus’ proposal, about settling here with me and my **cool** brother,” you groan, his puns absolutely horrendous, but even as you roll your eyes you still can't help but smile, answering with a simple nod. Sans looks to be pretty happy with that, and you grunt as the skeleton ruffles your hair, eye sockets glued to the television. “glad to hear it, kid. i think you’ll be happy **snowed in** with us, though i want to warn you, papyrus’ cooking is **snow** laughing matter.” Your palm slaps against your forehead, but you’re still smiling at those terrible, terrible jokes. You wonder if it’s out of pity or if you genuinely like Sans’ terrible sense humor, but it gets a bigger smile out of him anyway.

The both of you just sit there and watch TV after that, waiting till Papyrus calls the both of you for dinner. You turn towards Sans, making sure he heard, but he was completely gone. You didn’t even hear him stand, and you were sure you’d have noticed if he got up. You sat there, shocked and confused, but your stomach made itself heard again, and you blink a few times before standing and peeling away the blanket from your shoulders. You made your way to the kitchen, but stopped. You stood at the entryway, noting the table that wasn’t there when you’d looked around before, and wondering how Papyrus got a table in here without either you or Sans noticing. (assuming Sans didn’t notice) Speaking of Sans, he was now seated at said table, slouching back in his chair lazily while he crossed his arms behind his skull. You quickly glance back at the sofa, then back to Sans, pointing to where he’d just been and quirking your brow suspiciously at the skeleton. All you got in return was a shrug and an even bigger smile from the skeleton, and you were just going to have to be content with that, too hungry to interrogate further. Taking a seat across from Sans, Papyrus lays down plates of spaghetti for the two of you, and you could already catch a funky aroma from the noodles. Not wanting to be rude though, you mumble a soft thank you, grab your fork, and twirl some noodles onto it before you take a bite.

Your body shudders involuntarily, and you are fighting back tears as you try to force the food down your very unwilling throat. It wasn’t god awful, but the taste was so alien and overwhelming that it made stomaching it a real challenge. With pure DETERMINATION you manage to get the noodles down without gagging, and wonder if Papyrus would notice if you held your face defeatedly in your palms. He probably would, so you resist.

“SOOOO, HOW WAS IT HUMAN? BY THOSE PASSIONATE EXPRESSIONS IT MUST HAVE BEEN AMAZING!” you weren’t sure what to say, you didn’t even notice that Papyrus had been watching you the entire time. You give Sans a sidelong glance and find he’s watching you very closely, and even though he was smiling, not like he ever stopped, you were certain it was just a facade at this point. You swallow hard, breaking out in a cold sweat, in all honesty even if Sans wasn’t staring daggers at you, there was just no way you’d have the heart to let that skeleton down, with how eagerly awaited your approval. So you tell him it’s good, and he squeals with joy and spins around, meanwhile Sans turns back to his own plate and starts digging into his meal. You start to question how a skeleton could even eat to begin with, assuming he had no organs of any kind, as well as no tongue or throat, it would all just go through him… right? Your distracted thoughts manage to help you digest your odd tasting meal, idle pondering taking away the focus on taste as your gulping everything down. To your surprise you even find yourself clearing most of your plate, snapping out of your thoughts as Papyrus takes your plate from you, placing the fork on the dish as he whisks it off toward the sink, which he’s forced to set up a ladder to get to. You peek at Sans’ plate as his brother nabs it as well, brows raised in shock to see it is completely cleared with only the the slightest smears of tomato sauce on it. Your eyes are on the skeleton then, who’s wiping his cheekbones with a napkin before sinking back into his chair with a content belch, which is rapidly scolded by Papyrus as he washes dishes.

You and Sans sit at the table as you let the food digest, and you silently hope that Papyrus’ cooking won't leave you sick tomorrow, meanwhile the lofty skeleton in question is humming a [pleasant tune](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiidisRxgaU) while suds form in the sink. Sans had gotten himself very comfortable in his chair, tilting it on its’ back legs as he lounged, arms behind his head and his eyes closed. You were sure he’d have set his feet on the table if Papyrus wasn’t in the room. In the meantime you just sit, rubbing your rumbling stomach, but this time the sounds weren’t caused by hunger. In the meantime your head lies in the crook of your other arm, which lays strewn across the table, bent so you could use it as a pillow. Despite the stomach upset you found all of this sort of… calming.  Like the three of you were roommates, or a part of some misfit family, and it was just really nice. So you’re not too surprised when you end up passed out on the table, only realizing when you are jostled awake by a skeleton, who has lifted you from your seat. You’re not sure which of the two it is, but you nuzzle your cheek against their chest anyway, dozing off as they lay you back onto the couch and tuck you into the blankets. The last thing you feel is a very rigid hand smoothing over your hair before slumber and dreams take over.

**—————————**

It was morning, cracking open your eyes as light filtered in from the window just above the couch. You take a moment to sit up and stretch, your palm haphazardly covering your mouth as you yawn. For someone who spent the night on a weirdly lumpy couch you felt well rested, your back wasn’t even the least bit sore when your hands reached to press against it, still trying to pull out those remaining kinks in your muscles and joints before you stood. You take in the room again, still sluggish from sleep. You don’t remember but someone must’ve shut off the TV at some point last night, the screen black and the remote set down on the stand under it. You even found a second blanket had been strewn over you while you’d slept, smiling as you idly attempt to guess who it is, not like you’d actually figure it out. Once you felt you were awake enough you think it’s high time to get some breakfast and head towards the kitchen with an eager appetite and a soft rumble in your stomach, rolling out the cracks and stiff joints in your shoulders along the way. You’re quick to freeze though, for just before your foot hits the tiles you see a bulky figure dig through the fridge. Your skin prickles and you nearly dash back to hide in the couch, but realize it’s just Sans and sigh with relief. Looks like he peeled off his jacket and turtleneck sweater and swapped them out for a worn t-shirt instead, though he still had the same shorts and slippers on from last night. It was kind of odd to see him without that thick, blue, furry collared coat, but it’d probably have been weirder if he actually kept it on while he slept. Though that feeling of weirdness swiftly returns as he turns towards you, chugging a full bottle of what seems to be MTT brand ketchup. Your face twists into an expression of pure disgust, one that Sans can't avoid noticing. He pulls the bottle away from his mouth so he can speak.

“normally i’d make some ‘don't you judge me’ joke right about now, but i honestly couldn't care less if you did.”

You continue to stare in dismay at both Sans and the half chugged ketchup bottle, slowly backing away from the kitchen entrance till you find your back pressed squarely to a thinly clothed ribcage, quick to recognize it as Papyrus’. You crane your neck up to see him give his brother a very disappointed glare while crossing his arms across his chest, which has also changed from his white armor to a casual t-shirt with the words ‘cool dude’ written on the front. And you have to wonder just what you’ve gotten yourself into with these two skeletons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll also say again, if you like these feel free to comment or leave a kudos, I may not respond to every comment but I do read each and every one.


	3. The Undying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loud thuds shake the ground outside, metallic footsteps moving with a purpose as they make their way to Snowdin. You nearly began to panic, but quickly take a deep breath. Undyne must be on patrol, she’d done it plenty of times before, and there was no way for her to know you were hidden away here. That is until you hear Papyrus frantically yelling, pulse stopping as you frantically climb towards the window, peeking between the curtains to see Papyrus trying to drag Undyne back by the arm as they head STRAIGHT FOR THE HOUSE.
> 
> But of course you don’t have anytime, and before you know it Undyne has broken down the front door, turning towards you, her stance imposing as her stature casts you in her shadow. A terrifying voice echoes through her armor, booming in your ears.
> 
> **“HUMAN. PREPARE TO DIE!”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay wow I'm SUPER SORRY for the unannounced hiatus. So much stuff got in the way, lots of irl things happening and art commissions. The fic ended up getting pushed to the very back of things to do because of it and I'm really sorry about that. I can't guarentee I'll keep posting chapters timely, because again commissions and everything. I need to make a living for myself. But if a hiatus comes up I'll try to keep everyone updated.
> 
> Speaking of if you'd like to keep updated with fic things I'll try my best to post updates on my [tumblr blog](http://umbreeunix.tumblr.com/), but also if you just wanna ask questions about the fic or anything you can go there for that too. Also feel free to [commission me](http://umbreeunix.tumblr.com/post/124337371732/these-are-the-last-commissions-ill-be-taking-till), I am an artist after all and need money for food and video games.
> 
> As usual the design for the skeleton brothers belong to [Jokebone](http://jokebone.tumblr.com/), aka Skele, and I'll leave refs for both below:
> 
> [Sans](http://jokebone.tumblr.com/post/133067710916/lystheni-a-possible-naked-sans-i-like-to-think)   
>  [Papyrus.](http://jokebone.tumblr.com/post/133067794901/lystheni-naked-papyrus-sans)

A month had passed since you’d first stumbled into the home of your new skeletal roomies, after a blizzard nearly froze you to death might you add, and you felt you were finally adjusting to life in the underground. You no longer froze in place every time Papyrus popped up in your view, or got chills when Sans’ glowing eyes just happened to slide in your direction… well, sometimes you did but it was getting better. You even began to find some of their unique bone structures rather endearing, if not oddly fascinating. And the banter the two exchanged, there was hardly a time you weren’t buckled over, laughing as tears welled up in the corners of your eyes.

It was a little more than alarming though when Papyrus rushes through the front door and quickly slams it shut behind him, barricading it with his body as his head fans to search for you, stopping when he sees you on the couch watching TV. (or, how you’d like to put it, sexy robot central)

You were about to open your mouth to ask where the fire was, but Papyrus quickly cut you off, “UM, HUMAN IT MIGHT BE IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO… HIDE, RIGHT NOW.” It looked like he was about to say more, but it was quickly cut short by a dull stop from outside, obviously far off but still loud enough that you could feel the vibrations. Papyrus starts to panic,and you can (strangely) see sweat dripping down his brow as the loud steps get closer, making the entire room shake. You’d begun to grip the couch for dear life, incredibly tense as someone… some **thing** harshly raps on the doorframe. The skeleton is in near hysterics, squealing as his bones rattle from the harsh treatment to their door, meanwhile you catch Sans slipping out of the kitchen sipping a bottle of ketchup, suddenly pausing mid-step to get a good look at the scene unfolding before him. He shrugs and is about to go on his way, but to your surprise Papyrus looks at his brother like he’s a blessing sent from the overworld and quickly rushes to usher both you and shorter brother up the stairs towards the farthest room down the hall.

“SANS, THANK GOD! I NEED YOU TO HIDE THE HUMAN IN YOUR ROOM FOR A WHILE, LOCK THE DOORS AND DON’T COME OUT TILL I GIVE THE SIGNAL,” Papyrus suddenly makes a sound that you could only assume was some sort of dying bird, and while you cringe and cover your ears, Sans remains completely unaffected and agrees to his brother’s commands with a simple nod. Once they’re outside Sans’ room he digs for his keys, and as soon as the door is even a crack open Papyrus is shoving the both of you inside and slamming the door behind you. The last thing you hear before tumbling over is the quick thud of feet rushing downstairs and the rapping turning into loud thuds as you can only assume whoever is at the door is slamming a metal fist against it.

With a audible thud, and a clack from Sans’ end, the two of you land in a heap on the floor. It looks like the stout skeleton took the brunt of the fall, his back ending up on the floor, but landing on solid bone hardly felt any better. Your face nearly smashed against his sternum, the edge of his ribs digging into your skin meanwhile every other bone does the same to the rest of you. There was a distinct feeling that you’d be bruising tomorrow, but when you roll off to try and tend to the afflicted areas you find one of your wrists is caught between the bones making up Sans’ forearm, the radius and ulna if you’re remembering correctly, and no amount of twisting and pulling seems to free it any faster. And while you’re busy trying to get free Sans has a bony brow quirked in your direction, obviously confused as to why you haven’t moved off before he actually looks down and sees you trapped, a broad grin spreading from cheekbone to cheekbone.

“heh! looks like i’m the real **boneifide** master of human trapping,” you reward his pun with a punt to his ribs, because any harder and you’d end up bruising your knuckles, but he could see your smile plastered on your face and knew that he’d won you over. Sans lifts his arm to inspect, “seems i gotta assess the **situation at hand** ,” that one just earns him a groan and an eyeroll, “hey it’s not my fault you got so **handsy** , and now you’ve really got yourself in one **wristky** situation. i  don’t know if i can even **hand** le this.” Sans looks ready to just burst out laughing, meanwhile you’re ready to punch him in the mouth if he doesn’t fix this problem. You can even feel his bones shaking as he tries to suppress his giggles of merriment.

“sorry sorry, this is just the funniest thing i’ve ever seen,” he winks at you, meanwhile your face has gone deadpan as you bring both of your arms back into view and wave them in front of Sans face. He gets the hint and grabs the ulna, popping it out of his joint just enough for you to slip your wrist free, but as you do you give the skeleton a rather horrified look, rubbing your wrist to ease the slight ache left behind. The skeleton takes note of this and shrugs, popping it back into place like it’s no big deal, which you guess it wasn’t but still.

Once free you quickly realize how awkward your positioning is, you were actually straddling Sans’ stomach, or lower column of vertebrae? Either way you were straddling the skeleton while your chest rested over his, the top of your head barely brushing against his collarbone. You’d actually imagine cuddling this big marshmallow a couple of times, but now that you were actually on top of him reality sets and you quickly realize that bones are not the best for cuddling, at least not in this position. Speaking of, you finally manage to roll off, sitting on his floor and rubbing the lower portion of your ribcage where his had dug into your skin, and as you look back Sans almost seems… apologetic, pushing himself up to his feet and dusting off your clothes. It wasn’t long till you did the same.

“well, it looks like we’re gonna be cooped in here for a bit, so mi casa is your room, or something,” he nonchalantly waves to the messy space he called his bedroom, and you cringe at the pile of dirty socks and the… trash tornado. (you swear this place just got weirder and weirder by the day) Before you can get in a word edgewise the skeleton is spinning on his heel and heading towards his bed, flopping onto it with a thud and clatter of bones, hands tucked under his skull as he got comfortable on his backside. He’d closed one eye, the other still open a crack to keep a close watch on you, which is fair because the urge to snoop was through the roof and you didn’t trust yourself not to without supervision. So after a minute of standing awkwardly and not knowing what to do with yourself you end up drifting towards Sans’ tradmill, sitting down at the end of it and amusing yourself as you forcibly move the track without even turning it on. Sans seems to find this amusing because when you glance towards him you see his grin  grow just an inch while he chuckles under his breath.

A comfortable silence settled between the both of you while Papyrus has a heated discussion past the door with the mystery person there. You can’t help but fret over the taller skeleton, wondering if he really was okay down there, but when you look towards Sans he seems unperturbed, so you assume that this either must be normal, or Papyrus wasn’t in any real danger.

But still, when you finally hear the other monster leave with a rough slam behind them, you can’t help but sigh with relief. Papyrus mimics his strangled bird call from earlier and you look up to see Sans is already gone. You’re a little shocked but hey, weirder things have happened today so you just don’t question it and head back out and downstairs in hopes to get an explanation as to what happened.

—————————

Papyrus had explained that the monster who’d barged into their home was named Undyne, the Commander of the Royal Guard and a warrior ordered by the king himself to kill all humans… including yourself. Your heart dropped as the thought of the skeleton brothers turning you in to be executed quickly took over your thoughts, and it must’ve been easy to read on your face because Papyrus was quick to add.

“BUT I WOULDN’T DREAM OF TURNING YOU INTO HER. YOU’RE MY NEW BEST FRIEND AFTER ALL, AND BEST FRIENDS ALWAYS PROTECT EACH OTHER,” your fears immediately dissipate and you find yourself smiling as Papyrus wraps you up in a tight hug while Sans waves from behind him.

“STILL,” he begins, tone serious again as he lets you loose from his grip, “WE NEED TO BE CAREFUL, AND SADLY YOU’LL HAVE TO LAY LOW UNTIL UNDYNE STOPS LOOKING FOR YOU. SO IT’S PROBABLY BEST YOU DON’T LEAVE THE HOUSE FOR A WHILE.”

Nodding you agree, promising you’d keep yourself hidden here until this all blows over, and for a moment Papyrus looks relieved before he turns to Sans, expression suddenly stern, “YOU BETTER DO A BETTER JOB OF PROTECTING THEM THAN YOU DO WITH YOUR PUZZLES, SANS.”

The stout brother gives Papyrus a casual smile and shrugs, “i’ll **sea** to it the human doesn’t get **hooked** by that **bass** hole.” His brother looked ready to strangle him, exhaling sharply and pinching the bridge if his nose, “I SWEAR I SOMETIMES DON’T KNOW HOW WE’RE RELATED, SANS.” To that Sans shrugs, but does give his brother a pat on the shoulder, and the two seem to share this mutual understanding that they won't let the human get in harms way.

You couldn’t help but feel safe with these two skeleton knights protecting you.

—————————

Time passed and you found it really hard to stay in one place anymore, being holed up in Sans and Papyrus’ house for so long has left you jittery, constantly itching to move about. You swore that you’d go insane if you had to stay cooped up in this living room any longer, just wishing for any chance you could have to get out of this house and actually move around outside.

Well you know that saying about wishes…

Loud thuds shake the ground outside, metallic footsteps moving with a purpose as they make their way to Snowdin. You nearly began to panic, but quickly take a deep breath. Undyne must be on patrol, she’d done it plenty of times before, and there was no way for her to know you were hidden away here. That is until you hear Papyrus frantically yelling, pulse stopping as you frantically climb towards the window, peeking between the curtains to see Papyrus trying to drag Undyne back by the arm as they head STRAIGHT FOR THE HOUSE.

**Now it’s time to panic!**

But of course you don’t have anytime, and before you know it Undyne has broken down the front door, turning towards you, her stance imposing as her stature casts you in her shadow. A terrifying voice echoes through her armor, booming in your ears.

**“HUMAN. PREPARE TO DIE!”**

A spear forms in her hand, and she brings it above your head, aiming it for your chest. You’re paralyzed, knees weak and threatening to buckle beneath you. Then you hear the voice, the frantic shriek of… Papyrus? And you turn to see him frantically motioning with his arms, and finally his voice registers and you hear that single word.

“RUN!!!”

And you DASH, bolting past the both of them just as Undyne brings the spear down, imbedding it into the floor. In just a fraction of a second you’re out the door, snow crunching under your slippers as you sprint out of Snowdin and towards the caves to the farthest point of town. Behind you the loud, metallic thud of Undyne’s footsteps rang in your ears, urging you to move faster despite the burn of muscles and your rapidly beating pulse.

Patches of blue began to form on the ground and instinct told you to avoid them. You swerve and thank god because blue spears rise from the center, threatening to skewer you if you made a single misstep. Your heart races a mile a minute, your breath comes in raspy gasps as you flee for your very life, meanwhile the monster gives chase behind you, not letting up on her constant barrage of spear based attacks. You manage to dodge nearly every single one, and the ones that do hit only manage to scratch your skin. Still, the sting has you hissing as you press your hand to the wound, feeling blood coat your palm and leave you feeling sick to your stomach. Eventually you can’t run anymore, your strides become sloppy and slowed, and you knew the monster was rapidly catching up. This was it, you either stood your ground, or died. But there was one thing you knew too well.

You weren’t going down without a fight.

You spin around and charge at her, and she’s obviously taken off guard, skidding to a halt while you brace yourself for impact. Your shoulder crashes into her stomach, taking in a sharp breath as you feel it bruise the bone, but you actually manage to get her to stumble, and take this opportunity to take her down. You madly tackle her, and the both of you tumble down to the stone floor, her spear dissipating as she tries to trap you in a headlock in her armored biceps, but you manage to slip away and punch her in the face.

Bad idea. You end up forced to stop to grab hold of your fist, tears welling up as you watch it turn red and blood bead from the cracked skin. You tense as you wait for Undyne to make the finishing blow, but it never comes, and you dare to crack open an eye to look at your opponent, and see her just lying flat on the ground, making some weird muffled sound before the volume picks up and you realize she’s laughing. Suddenly your cheeks are hot with shame and you shriek out a ‘what’s so funny?’ at the monster that was just trying to kill you, and all she does is hold her hand up while the other presses to her armored forehead, going into complete hysterics as she sits up and tugs her helmet off.

“YOU’RE funny, that’s what!” she’s still cackling, and you’re surprised to see she’s a… fish? Well there were definitely scales on her face, most of them blue with red accents that made her look as if she had red eyeshadow over her golden eyes.(well eye, one of them is concealed by an eyepatch) She was actually kind of pretty, in her own odd way. Kind of like the skeleton brothers, and you found yourself staring longer than you meant to, only broken out of your admiration when Undyne finally stops laughing to call you out for it.

“Hey, it’s rude to stare, yanno?” you jolt and flush, quickly blurting an apology, which she laughs off and consoles you with a rough pat on the shoulder. That was going to bruise.”It’s no problem, honestly I didn’t expect you to full on tackle me like that. You’ve got some real guts, kid.” She gives you a crooked, sharp toothed smile, and you do your best to return it, but you’re still a little shocked after everything that just happened, and she can see it.

“Listen… I don’t think with all right concious I could kick your ass, I mean not after you showed so much guts back there, like I swear that was some anime shit you just did,” her eyes sparkle as she starts to simulate punches with her fists, “I mean suddenly turning around, fighting the bad guy after running for so long, not saying I’m the bad guy, that’s some real rad shit!” She congratulates you with another pat, this time to your back, but it was going to bruise the same, your body moving like a ragdoll as it absorbs the hits. “I’m going to spare you kid, I mean considering how long you’ve stuck around monsters, if you were going to pull anything you’d have probably done it already. And what you did was just so badass, there’s no way I can off ya after that.”

And with that you… unexpectedly made friends with the fish monster, and as she stood she helped you to your feet and walked you back to Papyrus’ and Sans’ house, going on about how epic you were and about a plethora of anime’s you remotely remember hearing about back on the surface. She was about as loud and boisterous as Papyrus, but about 10000x as rough, and every time she patted you on the back you could feel another purple splotch blooming the next day. Still, it was nice, and she was nice company.

The whole way back you couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear, and thought that maybe, just maybe, you could get use to living in a place like this.


End file.
